Aries
Remember, life is under-rated. Ariens rarely hate love. Try to be careful when using ladders. Something deep is on the cards this coming month.
Taurus
You will get a kick out of this month and today might as well be worse. Be careful on Monday when dealing with your inner feelings because you have been having a really awful time recently. Resentment is the seed of remorse. Don't be prepared for success when Scorpio is in the house of Mercury on Tuesday.
Gemini
Wear a garish red scarf for success this month. Thursday might lead to success. Trust others next century. Something dark is likely this coming week. Destiny travels by bicycle.
Cancer
Be prepared for good luck today. Be very careful on Wednesday when using garden tools. Today is the day for happiness. Pay attention to people who are talking to you who can be dynamic but mindless jerks who will be the first against the wall when the revolution comes. Pay attention to some people who may be confident and put off, and give those in authority a fair deal. Destiny looks like someone else.
Leo
When it is Sunday try to eat more nuts. Religion rewards those who want it most. Anticipate good fortune this week, but be prepared for good luck next month.
Virgo
You might enjoy helping a member of the opposite sex and a person who has been dreaming about you might help. Be careful when travelling by ship or boat during the autumnal equinox on Friday. Be true to your friends. A slot machine jackpot is on the cards.
Libra
Achievement comes to Virgos who want it least. Librans make bad lovers. Be careful when travelling by aeroplane. Tuesday could result in added opportunities.
Scorpio
Scorpios aspire to be Lewis Carroll. The coming week could bring good luck. Romance has many aspects. Chances to meet a new colleague are likely this Saturday. Caution is advisable next century when travelling (especially by air). Be foolish next month when travelling by car.
Sagittarius
Look out for your inner feelings before Thursday. The coming weekend could lead to success. Look out for others this month. This month is the moment for patience. Destiny wears red shoes.
Capricorn
Thursday might bring bad luck. Be forward-looking. Look out for pink and grey Trabants today during the full moon today. Look out for Pisceans next month. Today could bring good luck.
Aquarius
Look out in the near future when travelling by VW camper van. A steamy affair with a trustworthy Scorpio is possible. Beware of Scorpios today. Anticipate good fortune when it is the conjunction of Venus and Mars in the coming week (the first this century). Destiny travels by car.
Pisces
Your love has been ruled by Jupiter in Cancer recently. See if you can care about religion due to the influence of the full moon on Wednesday in Aquarius. Be true to your lovers. A fight with someone in a green suit is on the cards.